What's ringing in your ears

I haven't posted in awhile. I have that feeling you get when you've been doing really well at the gym and then all the sudden you stop going. A week later, you fill stuffed, fat, tired. I haven't written when I have most needed to- that is when I have had the most amount of "stuff" swirling around in my brain. Blogging is my creative purge. It is my writing treadmill. Not to write in a time when, in the words of Melissa Ferrick, "my brain looked like a carousel on fire" was damaging. It was the equivalent of drinking 5 red bulls then strapping myself to a chair...

Lots of things have happened. None of which eclipses the fact that my brother died suddenly at the age of 32. It's all I can think about, but its the thing that is hardest to write about. I will work on sorting though all those thoughts in writing...slowly...maybe here, maybe some where else but one word at a time, one sentence at a time...I am afraid of what will happen if I open the floodgates for more than a second at a time

So I am in a place where I am at once trying to sort though my thoughts, while at the same time trying to occupy my brain. This left me looking for a cool feminist podcast or audiobook to keep on in the background while I work. I love podcasts. I love that I can fill out timesheets and learn how to make better use of my gym time or listen to Howard Zinn talk about labor movements or have Rachel Maddow update me on the news of today. So today in my search, I thought it would be cool to listen to a radical cool feminist podcast or listen to one of the books that are on my shelf but I don't have time to read

Search: Robin Morgan

Search Results: Robin Market (in music) General Hospital Season 1 (TV shows) The Sum of all Fears (movies), Leslie Morgan (music)

Ok...

Search: Andrea Dworkin

Search Results: No results found for Andrea Dworkin check your spelling and try again

ok...I wonder...

Search: Feminism

Search Results Pride and Prejudice (audiobooks) Bikini Kill and Le Tigre (Music) A podcast episode from a Christian podcast about Feminism, A Feminist podcast with only 1 episode, and the "Period Tracker" application

Ok, so....Bikini Kill and Le Tigre are cool, but not what I had in mind. Pride and Prejudice not exactly my idea of feminist lit, and a period tracker?? Is tracking your period feminist? Um...ok How about...

Search: Feminist

Search Results: The Women (movies), Wonder Woman Season 1 (TV shows) and Le Tigre again.

Don't even get me started on The Women (most horrific movie I might have ever seen) Soo...I decided to open up the audiobooks section and explore further: Pride and Prejudice, 2 feminist lectures by university professors, The world according to Garp , Feminist Fantasies (an Anti-feminist book written by a woman) , The politically incorrect guide of Women, Sex and Love (an anti-feminist book written by a woman), The War against boys (an anti-feminist book written by a woman), Who stole feminism (an anti-feminist book written by a woman)
AND THAT IS IT

Link to anyone of the books in the latter part of that list and you will see Ann Coulture in the list of "People who viewed this item also viewed:"

So any young woman interested in feminism, interested in the works of feminists is instead offered a host of anti-feminist options to stream into her ears.

I am furious and I don't know what to do about it. And when I say anti-feminist, I am not talking about books that just aren't talking about feminism. These are books that speak out against it, and vehemently so.

Speaking out against a movement that is fighting for the equality and safety of women! This is what itunes has to offer! Am I losing it? Does this seem backward to anyone else?

And if you think for a second that this is not making a statement about itunes ideological stance, this again

I can't even type. I'm outraged. Sisters! I need help!

More soon...